Bill Condon

I’ve written lots of poems for kids, going way back to the early 1980s.  These have appeared in various school magazines, poetry anthologies in Australia and England, and in numerous books by primary education publishers.

I’ve written three poetry collections: That Smell is My Brother (Pascal Press, 1990), Don’t Throw Rocks at Chicken Pox (Angus and Robertson, 1993), and Rock and Roll Elephants (Hands Up Books UK, 2011). I also wrote a humorous verse novel, Jerry the Jerk (Pascal Press 1990).

Rock and Roll Elephants Large by Bill CondonI’m a person who has absolutely no sense of rhythm – hopeless dancer, failed guitarist – but somehow finding the rhythm in poetry comes naturally to me. I love writing rhyming verse and having fun with silly puns and other nonsense that work well in poems – and that young readers seem to enjoy.

I’m mainly known for my young adult novels – Dogs, No Worries, Daredevils, Give Me Truth, Confessions of a Liar, Thief and Failed Sex God, and A Straight Line to My Heart. However, I think writing children’s poetry is my first love.

I live on the south coast of New South Wales, with my wife Dianne (Di) Bates, who is also a very well known and successful writer.  It was Di who helped me when I took my first baby steps as a children’s writer. Back then I was pretty bad, but Di is such a great teacher I couldn’t help but improve.

My email address is condon@outlook.com

You can find more information about me (and Di) at our website: www.enterprisingwords.com.au

Here’s a sample of what I write.

WHAT A BLOW

My nose was feeling ugly,

but I knew just the ticket.

I put it in a beauty contest . . .

the judges didn’t pick it.

© Bill Condon

SPOT THE SPOT

I once had a dog named Spot,

who sometimes thought people were trees.

If you didn’t watch out he’d water your leg,

and attempt to bury your knees.

I sent him off to Obedience School,

to learn how a good dog should be,

and when he came home on Christmas Eve,

he headed straight for the tree.

He lifted his leg and squirted,

stood there, proud and tall.

Then the Christmas lights exploded,

and Spot was a spot on the wall.

© Bill Condon

SURVIVAL OF THE TWITTEST

Wen Prinsess Doris maide it knowne

dat she had tyred of lyfe alowne,

ten Printz Charminks kame ter tee,

one of dem, of corse, wuz me.

We awl set owt ter win her harte,

but good oled Doris, whoo isn’t smarte,

at larst chosed mee abuv de rest –

becaws I parst her spellink test.

I wurnt the kutest oar de fittest,

but Doris sed I were the twittest.

© Bill Condon

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