EYESORE-OSAURS

By Bill Condon

 

 I’ve studied all the dinosaurs

That history’s unravelled,

And found a few new species

On the many roads I’ve travelled.

 

There’s the arrogant Ignore-osaur

That walks with head on high.

It does not even deign to look

As it trundles by.

 

The Badbreath-osaur has germs galore

And needs to brush its teeth.

The Crook-osaur is, for sure,

A crafty little thief.

 

The Bore-osaur is tedious,

The Brag-osaur’s a pain.

If nothing else, Umbrella-saurs,

Are handy in the rain.

 

I quite admire the Stutter-saur

It tries with all its might,

To master elocution,

But it never gets it right.

 

My favourite though,

I have to say, is bits of this and that.

Part brontosaur, part stegosaur,

Part giant pussycat.

 

I call it Jigsaw-osaur,

Its wonder never ceases.

I have a skeleton of one,

Though I’m missing vital pieces …