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The Land That Never Was: Part 2 by Andrew Plant

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In the Land that Never Was things were very strange because
People who were living there used to have quite messy hair

But this no longer is the case but still it is the weirdest place
The folk there act peculiarly for they stand on all they want to see

Stand on anything they need stand on books they want to read
Stand on people when they talk like they’re the ground on which they walk

Stand on mirrors to brush their hair stand not sit upon the chair
The reason why they stand is clear it’s so that things won’t disappear

The people remember very well the day the goblin cast his spell 
Saying “what they saw would go away only that on which they stood would stay”

He was thinking of the land for this is what he hope and planned 
That all the folk would walk around looking only at the ground

One day a clever person thought “In this spell a lesson’s taught
Anything I wish to see must be stood upon by me”

He found a friend – pushed him down and stood on him which made him frown
Then shouted so that all could hear “LOOK HE DOESN’T DISAPPEAR”

Quickly then he went around throwing people on the ground
To show them how there was a way to change what the goblin had to say

Soon everyone in every street heard how things placed under their feet
Remained – even if they were looked upon whether pen or paper dog or swan

So now in the Land that Never Was though things are still quite strange because
They stand on everything that’s there and at least they don’t have messy hair!

The Land That Never Was: Part 1 by Andrew Plant

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In the Land that Never Was something’s very strange because
Everyone who’s living there always has quite messy hair

In this land as you look around things disappear without a sound
So you must be careful where you look which makes it hard to read a book 

A spell was put upon this place by a goblin mean with nasty face
Who people tried hard to avoid which made the goblin most annoyed

So angry did he get one day he said “I’ll make these people pay
Since they refuse to look at me I’ll take away all that they see”

“Gingel gangel gungel gel” went the nasty goblins spell
“to smell and taste and hears’s okay but where they look will go away”

“All except what they stand on this will always carry on
The ground will always remain there as one safe place for them to stare”

It didn’t take the people long to realise what was going on
They’d look in mirror to brush their hair and find themselves no longer there

And so with family and friends one look would surely mean their end
Thus they learnt to move around looking only at the ground

Mirrors had to be thrown out and people soon forgot about 
The need to brush their hair each day for no one would see it anyway

The goblin clapped his hands with glee and said “Oh clever clever me”
Which made everybody look at him and that removed his nasty grin

Now the ugly goblin’s gone but his spell still lingers on 
And the people still have their messy hair because there are no mirrors there