The Scary Boy
Professor Pamela McGurk
was famed for Scientific Work.
It was she who proved beyond a doubt,
false teeth look better in, than out.
She also used her science skills
to prove that ducks, don’t pay their bills.
As well she made a baked bean car . . .
with the help of wind, it travelled far.
But the thing that gave her greatest joy
was a machine she called, The Scary Boy.
It was shiny and silver and covered in spots.
It was built entirely of pans and pots.
It had eyes and a nose and a mouth and hands,
and a motor that ran, on old rubber bands.
It was tall and purry and furry and fat.
It had ears that flapped, like the wings of a bat.
It had buttons and switches and gadgets and plugs –
and the floor was a carpet – of Ladybird Bugs.
It was big, it was bold, it was brash, it was new.
And the whole world wondered, ‘What does it do?’
She flicked it on and what did it do?
Nothing at all, except go . . .
© Bill Condon