ELIZABETH R.

Elizabeth the water-dragon,
known for short as Liz,
has royal tastes and habits
but a very ugly phiz.

Her head is deep and angular,
her crown a crest of spines,
and if you offer pleasantries
she snootily declines.

With the hide of a rhinoceros
and an awful lot of cheek,
her gall is quite incredible
(Be grateful she can’t speak.)

‘Good day your Royal Scaliness.
You’ve really got a nerve.
You think your sneer from ear to ear
is something I deserve?

I’m offering you a dainty morsel
fit for any queen.
No need to eye it with disdain
or vent your royal spleen.

Your Royal Ugliness must know
I understand your game.
For all your airs and arrogance
you’re hungry just the same.

I know that when I turn my back
you’ll snatch it greedily
then look as if you’re charging me
with crime – Lèse majesté?’

© Kate O’Neil