Captain R Jaken owned a ship 
Named the Spick-n-Speck 
Cleaner than clean he would tell one and all 
“Argh you can eat lunch of t’ deck’ 
And that’s exactly what they did 
The Captain and the crew 
Ate all their meals off the deck 
Which meant – no washing up to do. 

Captain R Jaken often said 
“Argh clean ship sails t’ quickest” 
So come storm or calm he always made sure 
His was the speck and spickest 
Thus every day the crew would clean 
The ship from top to tail 
Dust, polish, vacuum, mop 
And even iron the sails. 

Captain R Jaken had a first-mate 
The crew all called him Splosh 
Who day after day and week after week 
Simply refused to wash 
After a while Splosh really stank 
So the Captain shouted an order 
“Take him and make him walk the plank 
Into a barrel of hot soapy water!!” 

Captain R Jaken recalls with a shiver 
The terrible day of Tyrone 
Storming through harbour and on to the ship 
With the whirl and the swirl of cylcone 
Dashing and splashing, tipping and flipping 
Dumping seaweed, sand and bog 
The crew mopped and swabbed but no matter what 
They could not control this dog. 

Captain R Jaken loved how sun 
Made Spick–n-Speck shine-n-shimmer 
And more than the gold and jewels of his dreams  
How the moon made it glisten-n-glimmer 
This sparkle-n-glow had so won his heart 
Spick-n-Speck never left dock 
And to ensure the ship would stay clean 
It was moored with big a chain-n-lock. 

Image from Pixabay