Heading To the Game

I prodded my mate as we rode on the train.

“You know that we’re just gonna thrash you again.

Your players are either too short or too slow.

It’s a foregone conclusion. Just thought you should know.

“Besides, your team’s mascot. Mate, give me a break.

A platypus? That is a major mistake!

A lion or tiger might stir up some fear.

A platypus? Your blokes have got no idea!

“And why is it purple? I tell you, it’s sad.

A team needs a mascot that’s scary and bad.

Yours just looks weird. It’s not a good look.

No wonder the team you support is so crook.”

My mate simply smiled. He wasn’t upset.

“You’re really so certain? Well, let’s have a bet.

You look and you sound like a back-country bumpkin.

You can share my soup later.” “Tomato?” “No, pumpkin.”

Stephen Whiteside

• Submitted in response to Poetry Prompt #9