“Toilet Paper” by James Aitchison and “The Great Toilet Paper Chase” by Julie Cahill

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TOILET PAPER

 

Dunny roll, dunny roll,

Where art thou?

There’s none in the shops

Or anywhere now!

 

Dunny roll, dunny roll,

Such a shame!

Not a sheet in sight,

And we’re all to blame!

 

We can do without pies,

Yes, we can!

But toilet paper?

Oh man, oh man!

 

The Great Toilet Paper Chase

Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she got there the cupboard was full
of loo rolls and tissues, alone.
‘Don’t look at me,’ said the dog, honestly,
‘I don’t shop, nor do I talk.’
He spotted his lead and at breakneck speed
asked to go for a walk.
As they passed the first store
a man burst through the door,
‘Best hurry before they run out.’
The dog tripped him up, being a pup,
and the man went down with a clout.
His plastic bags burst and rolls of loo paper
rolled into curbs; jumped the fence,
while the panicked folk snatched
and grabbed and bagged
the last of Australia’s sense.

 

 

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