Old Fred and Kazinsky by Mike Lucas

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Old Fred and Kazinsky

 

Old Fred never knew where Kazinsky went to every night when he opened the door.

That cat would run free and he’d sprint up the tree to the roof, then away to explore.

He’d hear a faint howl and then sometimes a growl and then nothing until the next day

When Kazinsky returned, but Old Fred never learned where he went till he looked far away.

 

Now Old Fred had no job (he was old), but a hobby he had was to gaze at the stars

And the planets and moon (with its seas and its dunes). He would spend all night gazing afar.

One night as he gazed out his window and raised his old telescope up to a crater

He had to look twice when he saw several mice running round with a mouse sized cheese grater.

 

‘Mice on the moon!’ shouted Fred in a swoon. ‘Mice on the moon! It can’t be!’

It can’t be moon mice! It can’t be, I say twice. But I see moon mice! That’s what I see!’

He rubbed at his eyes, looked again at the skies, at the moon, at the…what on Earth’s that?

Then out from a dune on the moon mice’s moon sprang a moon…m…m…moon c…c…cat!

 

‘Kazinsky!’ yelled Fred, as the moon mice all fled, leaving clouds of cheese dust in their wake.

‘Kazinsky!’ yelled Fred. ‘It’s Kazinky!’ yelled Fred. ‘It’s Kazinsky and make no mistake!’

In and out the moon’s holes, up and down the moon’s knolls, the wee moon mice ran eeking and squeaking.

They poked out their tongues and they wobbled their bums while Kazinsky chased after them, shrieking.

 

At times the moon wobbled while moon mice were gobbled and moon cheese flew this way and that.

Some leapt for the stars, but they didn’t get far for Kazinsky the cat chased them back.

At one point there landed a spaceship commanded by aliens from far away,

And Kazinsky sold mice to them for twice the price of what Earthlings would normally pay.

 

This madness went on more than half the night long as the moon swam away from the east.

And let it be said that the cat of Old Fred had a handsome and heavenly feast.

As the sun started rising on the eastern horizon the moon met the Earth in the west,

And Kazinsky stepped down to the new morning’s ground to prowl home for a well deserved rest.

 

Kazinsky arrived at just gone half past five as Old Fred nodded off where he sat.

Through the window he crept as Old Fred soundly slept, dreaming  dreams of an astronaut cat.

He strolled to the chair and at Fred sleeping there and he settled down onto his lap,

And Kazinsky the cat and Old Fred, just like that, spent the whole day enjoying a nap.

Mike Lucas 

A Snake Swallowed Poor Henry by Mike Lucas

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A Snake Swallowed Poor Henry

 

A snake swallowed poor Henry on his visit to the zoo.

A snake swallowed poor Henry and I know this to be true,

For he disappeared the moment that his classmates turned their backs,

And the snake grew fat and lumpy half a moment after that.

 

A snake swallowed poor Henry as he licked at his ice-cream.

A snake swallowed poor Henry, though we didn’t hear him scream.

All we heard was slither, slither and a satisfying hiss

And the snake grew fat and lumpy half a moment after this.

 

A snake swallowed poor Henry on our zoo visiting day.

A snake swallowed poor Henry while he looked the other way.

Someone shouted, ‘Look up in the sky! A flying alligator!’

And the snake grew fat and lumpy just a half a moment later.

 

A snake swallowed poor Henry but nobody found out why.

A snake swallowed poor Henry as he stared up at the sky.

All they saw was one boy gone and one long, fat and lumpy creature

And a smear of chocolate ice-cream on the lips of me, their teacher.

 

Mike Lucas 

Elephants’ Noses by Mike Lucas

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Elephants’ noses

Elephants’ noses just growses and growses

Till they’re trumpy and trunky and long.

They can smell gone off cheese on an African breeze

When it’s left in a fridge in Hong Kong.

 

They can wash twenty buses without too much fusses

And pick up a forest of trees.

Their trunks are so long, when a cold comes along

Then it takes them an hour to sneeze.

 

They can tie them in knots – lots of knots, lots and lots.

They can hang from the hills in Burrundi.

They can tell smells apart – if you give them a fart

They will know what you’ve eaten last Monday.

 

Elephants’ trunks are so useful, me thunks.

Much more useful than our little snozzles.

And when they are dead and we dig up their heads

They make far much more interesting fozzils.

Mike Lucas

The Purple Pawed Parrot of North Peru by Mike Lucas

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                            The purple pawed parrot of Northern Peru

 

The purple pawed parrot of Northern Peru

Has got purple paws that aren’t orange or blue.

It isn’t a tiger, a toad or a turtle

But simply a parrot whose paws are all purple.

 

It lives in the Northern Peruvian jungle

In a Tumbletum tree in a nest made of Fungle.

It isn’t a reindeer, a rabbit or rat,

Just a purple pawed parrot – as simple as that.

 

It hasn’t a tail; there’s a bend in its beak.

Its eyesight is poor and it squawks with a squeak.

Now, it isn’t a bat or a bear or a boar.

It is only a parrot of purpley paw.

 

When it’s born it will leap from its nest made from Fungle

In its Tumbletum tree in the North Peru jungle,

But remember – it isn’t a fly, flea or fish.

It is only a parrot pawed purplyish.

 

There’s a pretty good chance that this parrot pawed purple

Will soar high above, but a chance it will hurtle

Straight down to the ground and be swallowed up whole

By a crafty carnivorous cat down below,

 

For this cat won’t fly, won’t eat flea, won’t eat fish

And, for him, bat, bear, boar won’t appeal as a dish,

Nor reindeers, rats, rabbits, toads tigers or turtles.

He’ll only eat parrots whose paws are all purple.

 

© Mike Lucas

At the Zoo by Mike Lucas

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At the Zoo

There are lots of good things you can do at the zoo
When you get to the front of the queue at the zoo,
And lots of things you can see too at the zoo
When you’ve managed to work your way through at the zoo.

You can look at the wild kangaroo at the zoo
And the owls that go tahwit-tahwoo at the zoo
And the monkeys that go oo-oo-oo at the zoo,
But there aren’t any cows that go moo at the zoo.

There are llamas that come from Peru at the zoo.
There are Wildebeast known as gnu at the zoo,
But I think it is very untrue at the zoo
That you’ll find a horse in a canoe at the zoo.

The animals don’t use shampoo at the zoo
And the animals don’t eat fondue at the zoo
And the animals don’t do kung fu at the zoo,
But they can cause a hullabaloo at the zoo.

You can watch what the animals chew at the zoo:
They eat grass; they eat meat and bamboo at the zoo.
You can wait till they go to the loo at the zoo
And then watch it come out in their poo at the zoo.

When you’ve seen all there is you can view at the zoo
You had better not stay overdue at the zoo,
Or they might get a beast that is new at the zoo
In a cage – and that beast will be you at the zoo!

© Mike Lucas

http://www.shakespearesbooks.com.au