The Snooze

When Dad’s at the seashore,

This bit he likes best:

After all the swimming,

Take a well-earned rest.

Once lunch is completed, 

This is what he’ll choose:

Lying on his towel,

He will have a snooze.

Soaking up the sunshine,

Lying on the beach,

Seeking for a suntan,

Drink within his reach

How long he will lie there

None of us can guess.

Asked if he’s still snoozing

He just mumbles:”Yes”. 

We return to swimming, 

Wait for him to come,

When it doesn’t happen,

We send back our Mum.

Suddenly Mum wakes him: 

“Dave, you’re getting hot!

You look like a lobster,

Lifted from the pot!”

Monty Edwards

Monty says: “I considered calling the poem “Redback!”, but in order not to confuse, chose “The Snooze”. Although the poem ends as above, one or both the following verses may be added for didactic purposes.”

Dad forgot to sunscreen: 

Didn’t slip, slop, slap;

Left his head uncovered:

Didn’t wear his cap.

Now his back is blistered,

Face is sore and red, 

He will struggle sleeping

Even in his bed.

We all learnt a lesson

On the beach that day,

Sunshine is a blessing 

When you want to play, 

But the sun can hurt you,

If you don’t take care

Best to have protection

With you everywhere.

Improving the Alphabet

Take pity on poor letter C:

It always follows A and B.

When Aussies write their alphabets,

Then third’s the place it always gets.

It hardly seems that this is fair

That C is always sitting there,

Behind the letters A and B,

But never leads, don’t you agree?

Forgive my words if I am blunt,

But I think C should be in front.

I’ve had enough of A-B-C:

Let’s have a change to C-A-B

Now C-A-B’s a proper word,

But A-B-C is quite absurd.

Then after CAB change DEF to FED

No nonsense now: real words instead!

Monty Edwards

Autumn Elegy

Autumn leaves come tumbling down:

Orange, yellow, shades of brown;

Sun-dried, shaken, lost their grip:

Sailing breeze-borne like a ship;

Tossing, tacking, left and right:

Unpredictable their flight;

Watch them wander down the street, 

Where in huddled heaps they meet;

Left behind their mother tree:

Weeping still as each floats free.

Monty Edwards

The Frogs’ Protest

“Frogs unite. It isn’t fair!
Come together everywhere!
Leave your puddles, ponds and pools:
Join the students in their schools!
Send their ears your loudest croak,
So they’ll learn it’s not a joke:
Giving a whole Year to Dogs!
What about we jolly Frogs?!”
Monty Edwards

Kookaburra Questions

Are kookaburras having fun

By laughing long at everyone?

If so, I must have missed the joke,

But then, I’m not like clever folk.

The kookaburra laughs, it’s true,

But is it ‘cause they’re seeing you?

Although they laugh and make a noise.

The same is true of many boys!

So could his be a nervous laugh,

As strangers come along the path

That brings them underneath his tree

To point at him continually?

If people did the same to you

I’m sure you’d soon be nervous too

And should they seem to want to stay,

You’d flap your wings and fly away!

But out of reach and safe up there,

A kookaburra may not care,

He’ll watch us light a barbecue

And spot the steaks we’re cooking too.

For if a cook once leaves their task,

The kooka will not wait to ask,

But swiftly swoop to snatch some meat

And take it high above to eat!

I’ve learnt his laugh is just to say

To other birds: “You stay away.

Don’t trespass in my territory:

This tree I’ve chosen’s just for me!

So do not poke your beak in here:

My laugh has made that very clear,

But if you really want to share,

We birds can share air anywhere!

– Monty Edwards

Lying on the Beach

One day I saw a bottle that was lying on the sand.

I asked: “Why are you lying?” Then I grabbed it with my hand.

The bottle made no answer and it gave a glassy stare:

It clearly felt it had a right to spend time lying there.

I saw a drip form on its lip and thought it was a tear,

Which seemed to say: “Just go away and leave me lying here.”

But I’d been taught that lying was a serious sort of sin,

So straight away, without delay, the liar went in the bin!

Monty Edwards

The Unhappy Astronaut

The astronaut was angry. He was clearly not amused.

He spooned his soup from pot to bowl, but seemed a bit confused.

Though landing near the launch pad, he had fallen in a puddle!

This left his spacesuit shrunken and his maps an awful muddle.

Then, when he told the others who’d been in a different craft,

They thought his “trip” was quite a joke and all of them just laughed.

Monty Edwards

Monty says: “I had written the substance of this poem with a moon landing, but research confirmed the water on the moon doesn’t form puddles as we know them, so decided I had better bring the setting down to earth.”

From Fish to Dish

When you eat a seafood dish,

In it there may be some fish,

These fish must have left their schools,

Since they failed to learn school rules:

Rule One

“If you see a baited hook

Do not take a second look.

Even if the bait looks yummy,

It will never reach your tummy.

You will, on the other hand,

Reach a tummy on the land.”

Rule Two

“Do not swim into a net:

That’s as far as you will get,

You’ll be hauled up to the air

And you’ll wish you were not there.

Frozen first, then fried or grilled,

Soon a stomach you’ll have filled.”

Monty Edwards