A CLOGYRNACH GOES

TO THE DENTIST

           (A clogyrnach is a six-line Welsh poem.  

           Lines 1 and 2 have eight syllables with an a rhyme;

           lines 3 and 4 have five syllables with a b rhyme;

           line 5 has three syllables with a b rhyme;

           line 6 has three syllables with an a rhyme.)

I went to the dentist last week;

he opened my mouth for a peek.

When he saw inside,    

his eyes goggled wide.

What he spied

made him shriek.

The news he gave me was chilling,

“All of your front teeth need filling;

they’re full of decay,

I’ll fix them today!”

I said, “Yay! —

start drilling!”

He was deftly wielding his drill        

when he sneezed as though he were ill!

He bored through my gum —

drilled into my bum —

“Sorry, chum,

here’s my bill.”

My time in his chair had been brief,

full of torture, terror and grief!

Let my teeth all fall —

no dentist I’d call!

After all —

who needs teeth?

          James Aitchison