Tag Archives: Allan Cropper

Feeling Weird by Allan Cropper

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Feeling Weird

Have you woken up to find
you don’t know how you feel?
That’s how I felt when I woke up today.
I tried to find a word that would
express the way I felt
but there were not the words that would convey
the feelings I was feeling, for
it all felt so surreal,
a feeling like no other I have known.
I cannot find the words to tell you
how it is I felt.
I’ll have to make up new words of my own.

I felt flagisticatious,
all wimbillical inside.
Indubicartly grobble-poxed, was I.
Befuddulant and jingle-jacked,
quite micro-ballical,
which can’t have been too pleasing to the eye.
I felt so astro-numical,
anthortical in fact,
in a very catostrismic kind of way.
And that, my friend, just sums it up –
exactly how I felt –
the way I felt when I awoke today.

Allan Cropper

A Frog in a Log by Allan Cropper

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A FROG ON A LOG

A frog

a frog on a log

a frog on a log with a bag full of sticks

a frog on a log with a bag full of tricks

a frog

a magical frog

a mystical frog

a wave

a wave of a stick

a wave of a stick from his bag full of tricks

a wave of a wand from his bag full of sticks

a fog

a magical fog

a mystical fog

a mist

a mist on a pond

a mystical fog on a frog on a log

a frog on a log was no longer a frog

a frog on a log had turned into a dog

a dog

a magical dog

a mystical dog

a dog

a dog not a frog

a dog, not a frog, on a log in a fog

a dog not a frog with a bag full of sticks

a dog not a frog with a bag full of tricks

a wave

a wave of a stick

a wave of a stick from his bag full of tricks

a wave of a wand from his bag full of sticks

a smog

a magical smog

a mystical smog

a twist

a twist of a tail

a magical smog and the pond was a bog

a dog not a frog was no longer a dog

a dog not a frog had turned into a hog

a hog

a magical hog

a mystical hog

a hog

a hog not a dog

a hog not a frog

a hog in a bog

a hog not a dog or a frog on a log

a hog in a bog not a dog or a frog

a magical hog with a bag full of sticks

a magical hog with a bag full of tricks.

Allan Cropper

My Brain is Full by Allan Cropper

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MY BRAIN IS FULL

 

‘I’ve examined you quite thoroughly,’

Is what my doctor said.

‘It seems there’s too much empty space

existing in your head.’

‘The vast expanse between your ears

Is that which makes you ill.

It’s far too great a cavity

for your small brain to fill.

You need to go expand your mind,

to fill the empty void,

if rattling noise inside your head

you’re wishing to avoid.’

 

So I went to the library

and took out lots of books.

Reading lots of stories is

much harder than it looks.

I read and read and read and read

each day, right after school.

 

I read and read and read and read

until my brain was full.

I read stories about pirates,

I read stories about sport.

I read stories about heroes

and the battles that they fought.

I read stories of adventurers

in the jungles dark and green,

stories of explorers finding

lands no one had seen.

 

I read fiction books, non-fiction books,

and reference books as well.

And very soon I noticed

that my brain began to swell.

I fear I overfilled my brain

‘Cause it just grows and grows,

and now my poor expanding brain

Leaks out my ears and nose.

So doctor can you tell me how

to keep my brain in check?

My brain keeps oozing out my head

and down my face and neck.

 

If my brain keeps on expanding

I’m afraid my skull will crack

Quite frankly, Doc, I’d rather have

That awful rattle back.

Allan Cropper 

Postcard From Mars by Allan Cropper

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Postcard From Mars

There’s a trillion stars

and one of them’s Mars,

and that’s where I’m wanting to go.

It shines brightly red

‘mongst stars overhead,

a warming and welcoming glow.

A star it not be?

No difference to me.

It lives way out there in deep space.

Can’t save for a house

on this planet of ours

so I’m thinking that Mars is the place.

I’m planning a trip,

booked on a space ship

that’s due to depart in the spring.

I will be space suited,

luggage is included,

I will not be packing a thing.

I’ll have all new neighbours,

they live in the craters,

antennae on top of their head.

They ‘re tiny and green,

but they’re easily seen

‘gainst a backdrop of nothing but red.

So wish me good luck

as I pack my space truck

to head off to the great unknown.

Don’t worry at all,

I’ll give you a call

if I can get bars on my phone.

I’ll try for a while,

continue to dial,

I’ll contact you, never you fear.

If I can’t get through

a post card will do,

that simply says ‘Wish you were here’.

Allan Cropper

Dear Uncle Wally by Allan Cropper

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DEAR UNCLE WALLY

When dear Uncle Wally slips off his shoes
Warnings go out on the six o’clock news
The smell is so bad that you might like to choose…
To sneak out and just run away.
 

When dear Uncle Wally takes off his socks
It sets off alarm bells and stops all the clocks
They ought to be burned or else locked in a box
And then taken far far away.

When dear Uncle Wally wriggles his toes
You can see as the fungal bacteria grows
Does he wash his toes? I guess nobody knows
I pray that he’ll wash them today.

When dear Uncle Wally rubs at his feet
The smell it emits is like old rotting meat
The air freshener spray can hardly compete
With that sweaty foot odour bouquet.

Pooh!!!

Allan Cropper

The Conchers by Allan Cropper

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I asked my mum, “How will I know
If I do something wrong?”
She told me that my conchers would
Help me to get along.

“Just listen to your conchers and
you’ll know what you should do.”
I don’t know who my conchers are.
Some people I once knew?

“Where will I find my conchers, Mum?
Are they under my bed?
Are conchers real or make believe?
Are they inside my head?”

And then one day I heard a voice
That stopped me on the spot.
“If I were you I’d think again.
Perhaps you just should not”.

I looked around, no one was there
to say a single word.
I knew then that my conchers were
the voices that I heard.

“Listen to your heart” is the
advice that I now give.
I think that deep within the heart
is where the conchers live.

Allan Cropper

*Allan Says: Conchers = Conscience

Things That Go Pop by Allan Cropper

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THINGS THAT GO POP

 

Balloons make the loudest pop

They pop so loud that people stop

POP!

 

Bubbles make the softest pop

Hardly worth the trouble

pop!

 

But bubble wrap is clearly tops

When it comes to making pops

It goes on like it never stops

pop pop pop pop pop pop pop

pop pop pop pop pop pop pop!

Allan Cropper

Bing Bang Wallopy Boom by Allan Cropper

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BING BANG WALLOPY BOOM

 

Bing bang wallopy boom

The marching band came in my room

Round and round and round my bed

Pounding pounding in my head

Bing bang wallopy boom

The marching band marched out my room

I never heard another peep

I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Allan Cropper

 

Higgledy Piggledy by Allan Cropper

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HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY

 

It’s a topsy turvy kind of day

My head is in a spin

What’s down is up, what’s up is down

I’m neither out nor in

I’ll try on lots of outfits

and brush and style my hair

It’s a topsy turvy kind of day

but I don’t really care

It’s a muddily fuddily way I feel

My head is in a fog

I think I’ll put my runners on

and go out for a jog

I’ll race the other joggers

to see if I can win

It’s a muddily fuddily way I feel

but comfy in my skin

It’s a higgledy piggledy afternoon

My head is in a cloud

I think I’ll put my headphones on

Play music way up loud

I’ll dance around my bedroom

where no one else can see

It’s a higgledy piggledy afternoon

and that’s just fine with me

Allan Cropper 

Curiosities by Allan Cropper

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Curiosities

I wonder if a spider looks

upon his own leg hair

And wonders what he’d look like if

he shaved his eight legs bare

Would he walk upon a cat walk…

Hmm – a spider on a cat?

I’m not sure that the fashion world

is quite ready for that

 

I wonder if a platypus

would contemplate his tail

How when he swims, behind him there’s

a paddle that will trail

Would he swap it for a tail that is

more pleasing to the eye?

Or opt to go without one – ‘Frogs

don’t have one, why should I?’

 

I wonder if an elephant

Regrets his long grey nose

At least when it is itchy he

can scratch it with his toes

Perhaps it gives him character

And makes him feel quite bold

It must be pretty messy though

when he contracts a cold

 

I wonder if a porcupine

would sharpen up his quills

They must be pretty handy when

comes time for filing bills

Just pay them at the counter and

then stick them on a spike

In alphabetic order, or

date order if you like

 

Do you think that dolphins ever

look at us and cry

Always stuck in water while we

have both land and sky

I think that they could play guitar

or even play the drums

If they were born with hands and fingers

with opposing thumbs

 

I wonder if most people would

Prefer a different life

Choose to live more wild and free

less worry and less strife

As busy as a beaver or

as happy as a clam

For me I’m quite content to be

the poet that I am

Allan Cropper