Tag Archives: Jenny Erlanger

Stop Work by Jenny Erlanger

1 Comment

Our microwave’s groaning,
the dishwasher’s moaning,
the fridge has developed a whir.
Our blender’s not blending,
it’s only pretending.
The food’s barely given a stir.

Our dryer’s stopped drying.
it’s not even trying
but that’s not what irks me the most.
The toaster I’m using
has started refusing
to pop up my pieces of toast.

I’m sensing defiance
from every appliance.
It must be their chores they dislike.
I’m wondering whether
they’ve plotted together
to stage this ridiculous strike?

Stop Work by Jenny Erlanger

Image from Pixabay

Out of Luck by Jenny Erlanger

Leave a comment

I’ve fetched a cloth and made it damp
with silver polish goo.
I’m banking on this little lamp
to make my dreams come true.
I’ve rubbed and scrubbed. I’ve really tried.
The smell has made me dizzy.
But nothing’s stirred from deep inside.
The genie must be busy.

Image from Pexels

Bounce Bounce by Jenny Erlanger

Leave a comment

I leap up high and bend in two
till toes and fingers meet,
then follow with a somersault
and land back on my feet.
I bounce back to a dizzy height,
my hands attached to hips,
then arch my spine as I prepare
to do my backward flips.
Both Mum and Dad are sorry now,
the sorriest they’ve been
for never having got around
to buying a trampoline.
There’s clearly been some wear and tear
from all those tricks I’ve aced.
The mattress on my bed is wrecked
and needs to be replaced.

Image from Pexels by RDNE Stock

Party Pandemonium by Jenny Erlanger

Leave a comment

I’d blown the birthday candles out
and sliced up all the cake
and then I did a silly thing.
I made a grave mistake.

I chose to do a clever trick
I’d seen performed before,
a trick to stun my party guests,
to dazzle them, for sure.

And so I grabbed the table cloth
and yanked with all my might,
anticipating gasps of awe
and squeals of pure delight.

But sadly, nothing stayed in place,
I can’t forget the sound
of glasses, bowls and dinner plates
all crashing to the ground.

The birthday cake, the party pies
and every other treat
went hurtling briefly through the air
then landed at our feet.

I could have been an instant star
but I’d just blown my chance.
If only I had made the time
to practise in advance.

Photo from Pexels by Ivan Samkov

Simply Sick by Jenny Erlanger

Leave a comment

My nose and eyes were trickling

And my throat was really tickling.

I was coming down with something, I could tell.

And I had this premonition

my particular condition

would be something that was very hard to spell.

I was sure I had an “itis”,

and most probably bronchitis

but the doctor’s looked me over, and I’m told

I don’t have pharyngitis

and I don’t have laryngitis.

What I’ve got is just a simple, common cold.

Computer Whiz by Jenny Erlanger

Leave a comment

There’s a problem, he says, with the doodad.

He’s been trying for hours to install it.

The thingummyjig,

he says is too big

to plug into the whatchamacallit.

Yes, my grandpa has bought a computer

and I know that he’ll find it terrific

but he’s rung me tonight

to say something’s not right.

I just wish he could be more specific.

Blabbermouth by Jenny Erlanger

Leave a comment

My parents bought a parrot
and I taught it how to speak.
I wish I’d also taught it
when to shut its noisy beak.

It told my little brother
I considered him a sook
and then informed my sister
that I’d scribbled on her book.

I thought it might have finished
but it still had more to say.
It told my dad I hadn’t
done the homework for the day.

It told my mum her perfume
had a most peculiar smell
then added that her hairstyle
didn’t suit her very well.

Our parrot’s clearly clever
and it’s been a breeze to teach.
It’s made amazing progress
since it’s learnt the art of speech.

But now I have a problem
that’s undoubtedly occurred
because of my confessions
to this brash, outspoken bird.

Photo from Pexels by Caio

Abracadabra by Jenny Erlanger

Leave a comment

The tadpole’s now a frog – how strange!
and where’s that duckling gone?
It’s undergone some mystic change
and turned into a swan!
The caterpillar’s been reshaped,
been made a butterfly.
Once, just a bug, it’s now escaped
to navigate the sky.
Spectacular and free to see
in grasslands, trees and ponds
these wondrous acts of wizardry
require no magic wands.

Photo by Pixabay

Dinner Invitation by Jenny Erlanger

Leave a comment

Last night we had a dinner guest.
The food was such a treat.
I know you’ll all be so impressed
with what we had to eat.

A light and fluffy cheese soufflé
then lobster thermidor
And for dessert, a crème brûlée,
the best I’ve had, for sure.

But now it’s back to snags and chops,
to carrots, rice and beans
to tasteless soups and other slops,
to normal food routines.

A dinner guest, it seems to me
is all you really need.
to skip an uninspiring tea
and get a decent feed.

Attention Please by Jenny Erlanger

Leave a comment

You say I haven’t listened
to a word you’ve said today
or to anything you’ve told me in the week.
But I think, in my defence,
that it is pretty fair to say
when I’m in the mood to listen, you don’t speak.