Though pirates get by
with a patch on one eye
their lives out at sea can be grim.
No wonder they’re mean,
all the pirates I’ve seen
have clearly been missing a limb.
I now understand
all those hooks for a hand,
the clumping around on a peg.
To fit out their ships
for those plundering trips
must cost them an arm and a leg!
Pirate plight by Jenny Erlanger
Image from Pixabay
Why is it called a bearded iris?
There’s not a whisker in sight.
Unless, of course, it had a shave
sometime in the night.
I think it looks just great
without a bristling beard,
and it if had a moustache
that would look very weird!
Bearded iris. Photo by Ginette Pestana
I wish that in my bathroom
I had a shower like this!
All that water tumbling —
wouldn’t it be bliss?
Cascading down my back,
in a rushing flow!
The only problem is,
where would so much water go?
I’d need a massive drainhole
to carry it away,
and one enormous tap
to turn it on each day.
Waterfall, Milford Sound, New Zealand. Photo by Ginette Pestana
Henry was on an egg hunt
he headed quickly outside
bright and early Easter morning
excited for what he would find
He spotted a big brown egg
his left hand performing the scoop
But Alas! as it bounced in the bucket
Not an egg! but his pet dogs poop
Now his dog is in the laundry
she is safely locked-away
Henry then cleaned his bucket
and got on with Easter Day
Image from Stockcake
My underpants are white and blue;
One day I dropped them in the loo.
I heard them gurgle down the pipe,
But couldn’t find them on my Skype.
How far, how far, will they travel?
I hope the stitches won’t unravel!
And if they’re in some spooky drain,
Will I ever see them again?
What if the sewer goes out to sea?
My underpants might reach Fiji!
Or has some big fish put them on?
I think my underpants have gone!
Image from ABC News
My nose and eyes were trickling
And my throat was really tickling.
I was coming down with something, I could tell.
And I had this premonition
my particular condition
would be something that was very hard to spell.
I was sure I had an “itis”,
and most probably bronchitis
but the doctor’s looked me over, and I’m told
I don’t have pharyngitis
and I don’t have laryngitis.
What I’ve got is just a simple, common cold.
Up the tree Molly flew
to a bird attached at the top
But halfway up her nail stuck
and there she had to stop
In the midst of all the tree lights
Molly let out a cat like groan
“If you get me down from here now
I’ll leave that bird alone”
Photo from Pexels by tripleMdesignz
“Bawk bok, bok choy!” Pronounced the chicken,
“Bawk bok, bok choy!”
“Bawk bok, bok choy!”
What a clever little chicken!
“Bawk bok, bok choy!” it said,
And I was only just then thinkin’
What to put in with the chicken –
What to add into the coop.
So! Bawk bok, bok choy it is!
And I’ll plant it near where chicken said –
The bawk bok bok bok bok bok broccoli!
Photo from Pexels by Engin Akyurt
My parents bought a parrot
and I taught it how to speak.
I wish I’d also taught it
when to shut its noisy beak.
It told my little brother
I considered him a sook
and then informed my sister
that I’d scribbled on her book.
I thought it might have finished
but it still had more to say.
It told my dad I hadn’t
done the homework for the day.
It told my mum her perfume
had a most peculiar smell
then added that her hairstyle
didn’t suit her very well.
Our parrot’s clearly clever
and it’s been a breeze to teach.
It’s made amazing progress
since it’s learnt the art of speech.
But now I have a problem
that’s undoubtedly occurred
because of my confessions
to this brash, outspoken bird.
Photo from Pexels by Caio
Yakety-yak, yakety-yak,
is all I hear all day.
Yakety-yak, yakety-yak,
is all people have to say.
Yakety-yak, yakety-yak,
on and on it goes,
yakety-yak, yakety-yak,
see their mouths open and close.
Yakety-yak on the TV,
yakety-yak on my phone,
yakety-yak, yakety-yak,
why don’t they leave me alone!
