There’s beetroot on the ceiling,
down the walls and on the floor.
The dressing’s leaving patterns
that I’ve never seen before.
The nuts and pomegranate
fly like bullets through the air.
I’m stepping over mushrooms
and there’s lettuce in my hair.
My mother’s looking angry,
I’m in trouble, I can tell.
She said to toss the salad
and I’ve tossed it pretty well.
Jenny Erlanger
Though pirates get by
with a patch on one eye
their lives out at sea can be grim.
No wonder they’re mean,
all the pirates I’ve seen
have clearly been missing a limb.
I now understand
all those hooks for a hand,
the clumping around on a peg.
To fit out their ships
for those plundering trips
must cost them an arm and a leg!
Jenny Erlanger
Today she brought a lizard’s tail
and dropped it at my feet.
and yesterday a mangled snail
was offered as a treat.
A present helps me when I’m flat.
It gives me such a lift
but not when it’s the family cat
delivering the gift.
Jenny Erlanger
I felt such delight
with the tug of its bite
and its fight till the end to be free.
But now that my fish
has been served on a dish
I just wish it were back in the sea.
Jenny Erlanger
From morning to evening its scream can be heard,
a warning to all from this dive-bombing bird.
My brother’s too frightened to venture outdoors.
He’s already suffered a scratch from its claws
and Dad has to run from the house to the shed
his arms waving stupidly over his head.
It happens the moment we step out of place,
that flurry of feathers, that beak in the face.
So, hurry up babies and fly from your nest.
Your mother’s becoming a serial pest.
Jenny Erlanger
The party was great.
I’ve got so much to tell
but I can’t do it now,
I’m not feeling too well.
I don’t want to chuck
but I know that I will.
Is it something I ate
that is making me ill?
The frankfurts and sauce
can’t have made me feel bad.
The ten that I ate
were the best that I’ve had.
And it wasn’t the chips
that I had as a snack
as we all raced around
on the dodgem car track.
It might have been what
I was drinking instead,
that bottle of stuff
that was fizzy and red
that I drank when my mouth
was all dried up inside
after screaming so much
on the Gravitron ride.
Or could it have been
what I had as a treat,
something I’ve wanted
forever to eat,
that mountain of fairy floss
stuck to a stick?
Quick, pass me the bucket,
I’m going to be sick.
Jenny Erlanger
First published in “Giggles and Niggles” (Haddington Press, 2007)
I’ve taken our rubbish bins out to the street.
I’ve helped wash and vacuum the car.
My bedroom is finally looking as neat
as all of the other rooms are.
I’ve weeded the garden, the front and the back.
I’ve cut up the veggies for tea.
I’ve dried all the dishes Mum left in the rack
and now I’m as tired as can be.
I’ve brought in the clothes ’cause it’s going to rain,
I think I deserve a reward.
I made a mistake when I chose to complain
of feeling so terribly bored!
Jenny Erlanger
Dad’s got a fever, he’s dripping with sweat.
Mum’s got a virus, the worst you can get.
Buster keeps coughing, we’re calling the vet.
And I’m stuck in the house for the day!
My brother’s come down with the nastiest flu,
my sister’s been chucking for hours in the loo.
the cat has been constantly vomiting too.
Could you please come around for a play?
Jenny Erlanger
This poem was originally published in “Giggles and Niggles” (Haddington Press, 2007)
The water beneath us is surging,
the thunder’s creating a din.
and swiftly a sense is emerging
of just what a pickle I’m in.
All hope of a rescue is shrinking,
I’m such a long way from the shore.
I’m trapped on a ship that is sinking
and teeming with pirates galore,
with villains who thirst for a killing,
who’d slice you apart with a hook.
I’m finding this ever so thrilling!
I love getting lost in a book.
Jenny Erlanger
We’re sitting on a picnic rug
beside our lemon tree.
We pass around the water jug
then start to eat our tea.
I’m staring at a Brussels sprout
with mounting discontent
When I suggested eating out
this wasn’t what I meant!
Jenny Erlanger
Australian Children’s Poetry 