I’d rather be a Birtle than a Turd!

With four furry feathered flippers and a sharp and pointy beak

I’m a mixture of a turtle and a bird

I’ve a shell so sleek and shiny and some talons on my feet

But I’d rather be a Birtle than a Turd!

With some prickly tickly whiskers and a web to call my own

I’m a mixture of a spider and a shrew

I’ve a soft and furry tummy and eight legs without a bone

But I’d rather be a Shrider than a Spew!

With the body of a rodent and a long and slimy tail

I’m a mixture of a Gerbil and a worm

I’ve a squirmy wormy belly and my ears are very pale

But I’d rather be a Worbil than a Germ!

With a really bendy body and a home beside the shore

I’m a mixture of a starfish and a mink

I’ve a coat so soft and glossy and five legs that I adore

But I’d rather be a Marfish than a Stink!

With two long and fine antenna and a wavy wagging tail

I’m a mixture of a Beetle and a Mutt

I’ve a mouth of sloppy slobber and six legs that never fail

But I’d rather be a Meetle than a Butt!

With a round and spikey body and a long and bristly beard

I’m a mixture of a blowfish and a goat

I have skin like slimy rubber and a temper to be feared

But I’d rather be a glowfish than a bloat!

With two sharp and pointy pincers and some gorgeous golden down

I’m a mixture of a Yabbie and a duck

I have eyeballs on my feelers and fine feathers on my crown

But I’d rather be a Dabbie than a Yuck!

With a scaly silver tailfin and a noisy croaking song

I’m a mixture of a snapper and a frog

I’ve a sharp and toothy grimace and my legs are long and strong

But I’d rather be a Frapper than a Snog!

With some snipping snapping fingers and a soft and furry coat

I’m a mixture of a lobster and a mouse

I’ve a love of cheesy cheddar and I live beneath a boat

But I’d rather be a Mobster than a Louse!

With a tail so curly wurly and with furry golden fluff

I’m a mixture of a seahorse and a chick

I’m a cheeky chirpy cheeper who is into horsey stuff

But I’d rather be a Cheahorse than a Sick!

When it comes to any creature that is made up on the spot

One you’ve never ever seen or smelt or heard

There are many names to call them that are pretty or are not

Still I’d rather be a Birtle than a Turd!

David Rudkin

Rosedrops

Ten days in a vase

The dead rose weeps red petals

Onto the white bench

Dianne Bates

• Submitted in response to Poetry Prompt #9

Dianne says: I originally made a list of so many red and white images — blood on a band aid, the Red Cross sign, Japan’s flag and so on, but this morning when I walked into our kitchen, the poem came to me as per this haiku.