Woops!
There once was a poor ballerina
Whose blue tutu was often much cleaner
But she munched on a biscuit
A blunder to risk it
A Tim-Tam, a small misdemeanour.
Pat Simmons
- Submitted in response to Poetry Prompt #17

There once was a poor ballerina
Whose blue tutu was often much cleaner
But she munched on a biscuit
A blunder to risk it
A Tim-Tam, a small misdemeanour.

I can tell you about the weather.
Am I growing or shrinking?
I can show you how a paper boat floats,
and be a mirror for your smiling face.
I can be a drink for a thirsty bird,
or a short slurp for a cat on the prowl.
I can annoy new shoes,
but splashing gum boots love me.
I can be a short stay hostel
for tadpoles or mozzie larvae.
I can be temporary and tempting.
I have possibilities and potential.
I am a puddle.

A Halloween party was held near the creek.
Preparing the costumes took almost a week.
Several koalas in purple were cloaked.
A curled up echidna was prodded and poked
into a hollowed out pumpkin shell, where
she peacefully slept and was quite unaware
that first prize went to platypus dressed in his skin.
No costume was needed for this guy to win.

Dear Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smith,
I’m writing you this letter
because your son’s behaviour
isn’t getting any better.
His writing is untidy and
his spelling is a worry.
He’s often late and consequently,
always in a hurry.
His recent science project
nearly caused a school disaster.
The explosion covered twenty boys
in clouds of ceiling plaster.
He’s been with us for twenty years,
or is it twenty two?
Dear Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smith,
just what are we to do?
He’s untidy and he’s silly
and he always acts the fool,
but still the students say he’s
the best teacher in our school.

Pat is a writer of poems, short stories, flash fiction and children’s picture books.
Her work has been published in anthologies and children’s magazines (including NSW School Magazine, Alphabet Soup and Looking Glass Magazine) and she has won writer competitions in Australia and the UK.
Her picture book manuscript, Ziggy’s Zoo has been accepted for publication by Little Pink Dog Books in 2017 and she has independently published a collection of flash fiction stories for adults called 52 Twisted Tales.
She lives at Scarborough on the south coast of NSW with her four cats, three dogs and assorted mini beasts.
Visit Pat’s website: www.patsimmonswriter.com.au

“Write about what you love, what you know, what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Read lots of children’s poetry to get a feel for what style suits you.”_Pat Simmons
When did your interest in poetry begin?
When I was a child, I think. I’ve always loved rhyme and nonsense poetry.
Did you write poetry as a child?
I don’t remember writing poetry until I was about twelve years old when a school friend and I co-wrote a poem about our pet guinea pigs which was published in the school magazine. (Fortunately I don’t still have a copy.)
What was the first poem you had published?
Well, moving on about 50 years, my poem, Mr Pickle’s Pet Shop won a UK poetry competition and was published in 2010.
Who are some poets whose writing you love?
Ah, there are many, from the wonderful nonsense poetry of Edward Lear and Lewis Carroll to Thomas Hardy, Philip Larkin, John Betjeman, Bob Dylan and many more.
Have you had any poetry writing mentors?
No mentors as such, but the members of the writers’ group I belong to continue to encourage and inspire me.
What inspires you to write poetry?
Competitions and sites like ACP motivate me to write. I love writing but I don’t like writing lots of words! Poetry challenges me to write ‘tight’.
When you are writing a poem, what comes first – a subject, a line, a word?
Prompt words work really well for me as they give me a starting point. I’m also inspired by various subject matter. With my children’s poetry I love writing about animals and particularly animals who existed in history.
Do you workshop your poems with anyone?
Only with my writers’ group buddies.
How do you know when a poem is finished?
Oh, good question and I’m not sure how to answer it. I think I just know when I’ve said enough!
How do you know if a poem is good?
I don’t really ever know but, just sometimes, I’ll finish a poem and say to myself, ‘that’s good!’ I try not to overthink them.
What is your top tip for aspiring children’s poets?
Write about what you love, what you know, what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Read lots of children’s poetry to get a feel for what style suits you.
I’m a black cat
A special cat
A ship’s cat.
I was born on the Reliance in 1799.
Of all my mother’s kittens
I was the one most fine.
I’m a black cat
A special cat
A ship’s cat.
I have four snow-white paws
And a white star on my chest.
Of all the cats on board this ship
The sailors like me best.
I’m a black cat
A special cat
A ship’s cat.
When it’s time for dinner
I don’t eat with other cats.
I sit at table with the men.
I don’t care for rats.
I’m a black cat
A special cat
A ship’s cat.
I have a trusty friend
And Matthew Flinders is his name.
He has called me Trim.
I think together we’ll find fame.
I’m a black cat
A special cat
A ship’s cat.
Matthew is a clever man
He’s sailed all round this land.
He’s given it a name
And that’s Australia – how grand.
Perhaps you have a cat at home
Is it as fine as me?
Would it like to come aboard
And sail upon the sea?
With a black cat
A special cat
A ship’s cat.
Cautiously, creeping down the stairs,
carefully avoiding the creaks,
we stop
and take each other’s hand.
At the bottom we tiptoe,
trembling,
towards the door.
Almost afraid to breathe
we slowly, gently, push it open.
Beneath the twinkling lights
sit the gifts.
‘He’s been,’ we whisper
‘He’s been.’
(Published 2014 by Celapene Press, Short and Twisted and Thynks Publications Bards at Blidworth and Beyond Anthology)

A scorpion christened Cruella, left home to search for a fella.
She sifted through sand and she searched under slate.
She peered under pebbles to look for a mate.
She reached under rocks and she gazed at the ground
but a masculine mini beast couldn’t be found.
Cruella, poor creature, was filled with despair.
There had to be someone who loved her out there.
But wait! She heard rustling and spotted the cause.
From a burrow appeared some spectacular claws.
They belonged to a sumptuous scorpion male.
What glorious eyes, and that sting in his tail!
It was love at first sight for Cruella and friend,
Which is how satisfactory quests all should end.

A clown with a cauliflower ear
Decided that he would appear
In a colander hat
With a cute climbing cat.
But the cat said
‘Not likely my dear.’

At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.
It’s mystical and magical and not at all expensive.
Meet hairy dogs and scary dogs and one that yawns and yawns.
And playing in a nearby cage meet baby unicorns.
Meet fluffy cats and scruffy cats and one that’s always smiling.
Descended from a Cheshire cat, she really is beguiling.
At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.
It’s wacky, weird and wonderful and not at all expensive.
Sitting in a large top hat, magicians’ rabbits wait.
One elegant white rabbit keeps insisting that he’s late.
Meet brown rats, black rats and some you can’t approach.
One claims a distant relative pulled Cinderella’s coach.
At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.
It’s awesome and amazing and it’s not at all expensive.
Meet scowling owls and sleeping owls perched in a plastic tree.
There’s one that winks at pussy cats. He’d like to go to sea.
Meet blind mice, Miami mice and mice who have no tails.
They run and squeak, play hide and seek and terrify the quails.
At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.
It’s curious, chaotic and it’s not at all expensive.
Meet rare, red romping dragons. No one’s quite sure of their ages.
But Mr Pickle says they MUST be kept in fireproof cages.
Meet fruit bats, cute bats, a vampire bat called Guzzle.
And just in case he misbehaves, he has to wear a muzzle.
At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.
It’s bold, bizarre and beautiful and not at all expensive.
Meet frogs who change to princes if they receive a kiss.
Meet friendly bugs who give you hugs and snakes who simply hiss.
If you deserve a special pet to tell your troubles to,
Please visit Mr Pickle’s shop and tell him I sent you.
At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.
It’s fabulous and fanciful and not at all expensive.

A basin of broccoli served up for tea
Is not what a young buccaneer wants to see.
His diet should be balanced when pillaging ships,
But he’d much prefer ice cream and lots of hot chips.
