My mother’s got a wicked beard.
It wasn’t there last week.
I’m not sure that I like it
but it’s certainly unique.

She took a nap the other day
and slept for just a minute,
and when she woke she found
a Willy Wagtail nesting in it.

She points at other people’s beards
and says “They all look scruffy.”
She washes hers twice every day
to keep it light and fluffy.

At first dad didn’t like it much.
He said “It isn’t funny,”
but he’s selling photos of it now
and making lots of money.

At least it’s good for sea-side trips,
it keeps us cool and shady
so I guess there’s some advantage
when your mum’s the bearded lady.