Tag Archives: nonsense poems

There’s A Gruble In My Garden by Warren Cox

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There’s a Gruble in my garden

wearing rainbow coloured clothes.

He lives beneath the gimble patch

where no one ever goes.


If you’re curious I’ll show you,

but you’ve got to promise me,

you’ll never tell a single soul.

That’s how it’s got to be.

We’ll tiptoe from our bedrooms

and steal along the hall,

then down the stairs, across the yard

up to the garden wall.

We’ve got to be as quiet as mice

‘cause on the other side,

if the Gruble hears a noise,

beneath the gimble patch he’ll hide.

He won’t be there this morning,

nor in the afternoon.

But set your clock for midnight

and provided there’s a moon

He’ll be digging out the mungle weeds

and chopping through the ling,

to clear the ground of carbles

for the annual rickshing.    

It’s a really wondrous sight to see 

 this rickshing celebration.

Grubles come from every corner

of the Gruble nation.     

                                                                                     Their tables all are laden                                                                                

with every fine delight;

baked bullwort, creamy piggler

and barbequed quambite.

The party lasts for eldons,

till the mungle weed grows back.

Then they finish with a lively dance

they call the rakanbak.

But as the moon gets lower.

Just before the sun turns red.

The Grubles leave the way they came

and go back home to bed.

And the Gruble in my garden

with the rainbow coloured clothes?

Well – he’s back beneath the gimble patch

where no one ever goes.   

Have You Ever? by Warren Cox

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Have you ever seen a turtle swimming with a whale?
Have you ever seen an elephant dancing with a snail?
Have you ever seen a grasshopper hopping with a frog?
Or a big fat walrus barking like a dog?

Have you ever seen a wagtail without a tail to wag?
Have you ever seen a hippo and a rhino playing tag?
Have you ever seen a kookaburra eating Christmas cake?
Or a lion and a tiger, laughing at a snake?

Have you ever seen a billy goat flying through the air?
Have you ever seen an alligator sitting on a chair?
Have you ever seen a goldfish splashing in your pool?
Or a baa baa black sheep on its way to school?

Have you ever seen an emu nesting in a tree?
Have you ever seen a butterfly bathing with a bee?
Have you ever seen a panda bear sliding on a sled?
Or a big bad wolf standing on its head?

Have you ever seen a rooster slipping down a slide?
Have you ever seen a peacock at the sea-side?
Have you ever seen a kitten give a puppy dog a hug?
Or a huge great dane shaking paws with a pug?

Have you ever seen a monkey dressed up like a clown
Have you ever seen a kangaroo hanging upside down?
Have you ever seen a rabbit thumb its nose at a fox
Or a two humped camel with its head inside a box

If you’ve never watched a wombat make dinner for a goat,
or a rooster and a rabbit drinking coffee on a boat.
If you’ve never seen a turkey doing ballet with a duck,
then I’ve got to say, “Dear children, you are just plain out of luck.”

Goose On The Loose by James Aitchison

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Hey, hey, the goose got away,

down the street

on its two webbed feet!

“Honk, honk! Out of my way

I want to do my shopping today!”

(Teacher’s note: Apart from flock, what other collective nouns apply to geese? It all depends where they are.  Geese on the ground are a gaggle, or if they are flying, a skein, a trip or a team.  If flying in formation, they’re a wedge.  Geese flying close together are a plump.  Some other choices: a chevron, a nide, a lag, a sord, and the poet’s favourite, a christmas of geese!)

Sneezin’ Season by James Aitchison

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Have you ever heard a kangaroo

Go ah-choo, ah-choo, ah-choo?

Have you ever seen a koala

Wearing a balaclava?

Cold kookaburras like to laugh,

But have you ever seen one wearing a scarf?

Owls make hoots

But don’t wear boots,

And as for wombats,

They don’t need hats.

So how come you and I will sneeze,

In the midst of winter’s icy freeze?

Uncle Quimby’s Quandock by Carolyn Eldridge-Alfonzetti

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Uncle Quimby’s Quandock

 

Uncle Quimby had a quandock – a champion of its breed;

he fed it tripe and honey; exercised it on a lead.

But quandocks can be vicious pets, as everybody knows,

and Uncle’s crimson quandock liked to chew on human toes!

It all became too much for him.  So, hobbling into town,

he swapped it for a snoogle — vegetarian and brown.

 

Carolyn Eldridge-Alfonzetti

 

 

(First published in The School Magazine – Countdown, June 2007 [Vol. 92 No. 5] Acknowledgement requested if published elsewhere)