They say my words are quite absurd,
my poems most preposterous,
my rhymes are poor, my rhythms wild,
my metre’s all quite monstrous.
But I don’t care what they say,
one day I will be prosperous,
because I am the world’s only
poetic rhinoceros.
Tag Archives: nonsense poems
Have You Ever? by Warren Cox
Leave a commentHave you ever seen a turtle swimming with a whale?
Have you ever seen an elephant dancing with a snail?
Have you ever seen a grasshopper hopping with a frog?
Or a big fat walrus barking like a dog?
Have you ever seen a wagtail without a tail to wag?
Have you ever seen a hippo and a rhino playing tag?
Have you ever seen a kookaburra eating Christmas cake?
Or a lion and a tiger, laughing at a snake?
Have you ever seen a billy goat flying through the air?
Have you ever seen an alligator sitting on a chair?
Have you ever seen a goldfish splashing in your pool?
Or a baa baa black sheep on its way to school?
Have you ever seen an emu nesting in a tree?
Have you ever seen a butterfly bathing with a bee?
Have you ever seen a panda bear sliding on a sled?
Or a big bad wolf standing on its head?
Have you ever seen a rooster slipping down a slide?
Have you ever seen a peacock at the sea-side?
Have you ever seen a kitten give a puppy dog a hug?
Or a huge great dane shaking paws with a pug?
Have you ever seen a monkey dressed up like a clown
Have you ever seen a kangaroo hanging upside down?
Have you ever seen a rabbit thumb its nose at a fox
Or a two humped camel with its head inside a box
If you’ve never watched a wombat make dinner for a goat,
or a rooster and a rabbit drinking coffee on a boat.
If you’ve never seen a turkey doing ballet with a duck,
then I’ve got to say, “Dear children, you are just plain out of luck.”
A Sensible Hat by Jeanie Axton
Leave a commentA sensible hat is sensible
if worn in a sensible way
by a sensible type of person
at a sensible time of day.
A sensible hat can be silly
ugly, tattered or old
a sensible type of hat
is just that, sensible “so I’m told!”
Goose On The Loose by James Aitchison
Leave a commentHey, hey, the goose got away,
down the street
on its two webbed feet!
“Honk, honk! Out of my way
I want to do my shopping today!”
(Teacher’s note: Apart from flock, what other collective nouns apply to geese? It all depends where they are. Geese on the ground are a gaggle, or if they are flying, a skein, a trip or a team. If flying in formation, they’re a wedge. Geese flying close together are a plump. Some other choices: a chevron, a nide, a lag, a sord, and the poet’s favourite, a christmas of geese!)
The Pillow That Couldn’t Sleep by James Aitchison
Leave a commentThere once was a pillow
that couldn’t sleep,
not even when
it counted sheep.
It stared at the ceiling
all through the night,
until over the sill
came dawn’s bright light.
In My Dreams: a nonsense poem by James Aitchison
Leave a commentWhen I go to sleep at night,
I dream of lots of things.
Blue spaghetti and bowls of fruit,
A four-legged man playing a flute,
A buffalo with purple wings,
A refrigerator taking flight.
That’s why I like to stay awake
And think of triple-layered cake.
Sneezin’ Season by James Aitchison
Leave a commentHave you ever heard a kangaroo
Go ah-choo, ah-choo, ah-choo?
Have you ever seen a koala
Wearing a balaclava?
Cold kookaburras like to laugh,
But have you ever seen one wearing a scarf?
Owls make hoots
But don’t wear boots,
And as for wombats,
They don’t need hats.
So how come you and I will sneeze,
In the midst of winter’s icy freeze?
MADimal by Sally Odgers
Leave a commentMADimal
AlPACas PACk their lunch with spoons
The OWL decides to hOWL at noon
The HORSE feels HOaRSE when he yells of course
The aARdvARK digs in the old cARpARK
The pONY hates the stONY rOAD
(Quite unlike his friend, the tOAD)
Nonsense poems make me SnOOZe
But they amuse my friends in ZOOS!
Sally Odgers
Uncle Quimby’s Quandock by Carolyn Eldridge-Alfonzetti
Leave a commentUncle Quimby’s Quandock
Uncle Quimby had a quandock – a champion of its breed;
he fed it tripe and honey; exercised it on a lead.
But quandocks can be vicious pets, as everybody knows,
and Uncle’s crimson quandock liked to chew on human toes!
It all became too much for him. So, hobbling into town,
he swapped it for a snoogle — vegetarian and brown.
Carolyn Eldridge-Alfonzetti
(First published in The School Magazine – Countdown, June 2007 [Vol. 92 No. 5] Acknowledgement requested if published elsewhere)
Once Below a Time by Janeen Brian
Leave a commentonce below a time
Once below a time
when the far was near away,
the clouds they swam about in seas
and fish came out to play.
And when the day was upside down
and purple rain flew high,
the birds they barked so happily
all dancing in the sky.
And when the night was shining bright
and cows all sung Meow!
the chickens played the piccolo
in that far away here now.
© Janeen Brian
Australian Children’s Poetry 