Seagull Saga by Monty Edwards

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While I was walking by the sea
A seagull chose to follow me,
But soon one gull turned into two,
Then three, then four, began a queue!

When five or six swelled to a crowd
Their conversation grew quite loud.
This made it clear I’d have no peace
Without some way to make them cease.

I clapped my hands and stamped my feet,
I waved my cap, but faced defeat:
A few wings fluttered, webbed feet shuffled,
But squarks continued, quite unmuffled.

Seagull numbers kept on mounting!
It was then I started shouting:
“Please, I yelled, “Please go away!”
Not one gull did. They chose to stay.

Quite suddenly I had a hunch
That what they wanted was my lunch!
Can a seagull lick its lips?
Yes, it will, for fish and chips!

So off I ran to grassy ground,
There with seagulls all around,
I unwrapped lunch and chose to share:
Whoosh! Gulls arrived from everywhere!!

The Bearded Lady by Warren Cox

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My mother’s got a wicked beard.
It wasn’t there last week.
I’m not sure that I like it
but it’s certainly unique.

She took a nap the other day
and slept for just a minute,
and when she woke she found
a Willy Wagtail nesting in it.

She points at other people’s beards
and says “They all look scruffy.”
She washes hers twice every day
to keep it light and fluffy.

At first dad didn’t like it much.
He said “It isn’t funny,”
but he’s selling photos of it now
and making lots of money.

At least it’s good for sea-side trips,
it keeps us cool and shady
so I guess there’s some advantage
when your mum’s the bearded lady.

Father Christmas Lost His Whiskers by Graham Seal

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Father Christmas lost his whiskers, 

riding in his sleigh. 

He went too fast and then a blast 

of wind blew them away. 

Father Christmas found his whiskers 

a long way away. 

Stuck them on and sped along 

in time for Christmas Day 

Hey! 

Inspired by playground rhymes

In or Out? by Nadine Cranenburgh

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In or Out?

 (Can be sung to the tune of ‘Do Your Ears Hang Low?’)

 

Is your belly button in, like a dimple in your skin?

Can you pull it down to frown? Can you pull it up to grin?

When you stretch your tummy tight, does it disappear from sight?

 

Is your belly button in?

 

Is your belly button out? Can you wiggle it about?

When you roll your tummy down, is it like a puppy’s snout?

If you poke it right in, then, does it pop straight out again?

 

Is your belly button out or in?

Nadine Cranenburgh