Mr Pickle’s Pet Shop by Pat Simmons

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Mr Pickle’s Pet Shop

At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.

It’s mystical and magical and not at all expensive.

Meet hairy dogs and scary dogs and one that yawns and yawns.

And playing in a nearby cage meet baby unicorns.

Meet fluffy cats and scruffy cats and one that’s always smiling.

Descended from a Cheshire cat, she really is beguiling.

 

At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.

It’s wacky, weird and wonderful and not at all expensive.

Sitting in a large top hat, magicians’ rabbits wait.

One elegant white rabbit keeps insisting that he’s late.

Meet brown rats, black rats and some you can’t approach.

One claims a distant relative pulled Cinderella’s coach.

 

At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.

It’s awesome and amazing and it’s not at all expensive.

Meet scowling owls and sleeping owls perched in a plastic tree.

There’s one that winks at pussy cats. He’d like to go to sea.

Meet blind mice, Miami mice and mice who have no tails.

They run and squeak, play hide and seek and terrify the quails.

 

At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.

It’s curious, chaotic and it’s not at all expensive.

Meet rare, red romping dragons. No one’s quite sure of their ages.

But Mr Pickle says they MUST be kept in fireproof cages.

Meet fruit bats, cute bats, a vampire bat called Guzzle.

And just in case he misbehaves, he has to wear a muzzle.

 

At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.

It’s bold, bizarre and beautiful and not at all expensive.

Meet frogs who change to princes if they receive a kiss.

Meet friendly bugs who give you hugs and snakes who simply hiss.

If you deserve a special pet to tell your troubles to,

Please visit Mr Pickle’s shop and tell him I sent you.

 

At Mr Pickle’s pet shop the choice is quite extensive.

It’s fabulous and fanciful and not at all expensive.

Pat Simmons
First published by Thynks Publications in their anthology 50 Funny Poems for Children.

Point to Point by Penny Szentkuti

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Point to point

I got in a pickle the other day.
It was olive green
and bumpy skinned
and smelled quite strong
but I went along for the ride
even though it was damp and drippy inside
just so I could wink and say
I got in a pickle the other day.

Penny Szentkuti

Penny said: This was a train of thought poem – see how I did that? – and I can’t quite get off the track now that I’ve got that image of riding in a pickle. I must have been influenced too by the heavy advertising at the moment about point to point transport.

Balancing Broccoli in a Basin by Alix Phelan

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Balancing broccoli in a basin 

Bought by a beneficent buccaneer

bunches of broccoli

bound through the air

into a basin of boiling water.

 

They balanced the content of Vitamin B

in the body of the buccaneer’s

burgeoning daughter.

Alix Phelan ©, 2016

Alix Said:  I thought this was a bit of a challenge. At first look, the four “b” words had nothing in common.  I decided to look up what vitamins are associated with broccoli and discovered that Vitamin B was one. Very convenient. Apart from being convenient with regard to the poem, as far as I understand, Vitamin B helps nerve cells and DNA to grow, and so, it was quite appropriate to use with “burgeoning daughter”.

 

A Night of Frogs by Kristin Martin

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A Night of Frogs

 

A frog lives in our garden
in a pond beneath the tree.
I hear it croak at bedtime
as it says ‘goodnight’ to me.

A frog lives by our back door
on a post below the light.
I sneak outside to say ‘hello’
because it’s only there at night.

A frog lives in our laundry
in the corner of the wall.
I check when I come back inside
to make sure it didn’t fall.

A frog lives in our kitchen
in the space behind the sink.
It freezes in the torchlight
when I get myself a drink.

A frog lives in our bathroom
and I don’t know what to do
because it isn’t where it should be.
Yuk! It’s swimming in the loo!

My mum comes in the bathroom,
plants a kiss upon my head.
‘The frogs are fine just where they are
but you should be in bed!’

Kristin Martin

 Kristin Says: A few years ago, when I was travelling around northern Australia with my family, I was amazed by all the places where we saw frogs. We saw a tiny frog on the mirror in the girls’ toilets at a caravan park. We saw an even tinier frog siting behind the cold-water tap on the sink. And we saw a huge frog hiding under the toilet seat. I wanted to tell people about all these amazing places you could find frogs, so I decided to write a frog poem. To make my poem more interesting I developed a story about a child who has lots of frogs in her (or his) house. I pretended I was the child, and I was up at night, creeping around my house with a torch looking for the frogs. This is the poem I wrote.

 

Betrayed by Jenny Erlanger

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Betrayed

 

Barnaby’s clearly in love with my sister,

He cannot resist her.

I’ve seen how he’s kissed her.

She’s only been gone for a day but he’s missed her.

It’s time for a family chat.

 

Needless to say, my proposed intervention

will cause more dissension

than I care to mention

but I am the one who deserves the attention

since Barnaby’s my freaking cat.

Jenny Erlanger

Limerick by Sioban Timmer

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There once was a postie called Progge

Who had a most wonderful dog

It could carry more letters

Than fifteen red setters

And he never got lost in the fog!

Sioban Timmer

Sioban says: I wrote this in primary school after we learnt about limericks – and for some reason I have always remembered it!

 

Help! by Jenny Erlanger

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Help!

She twisted into awesome shapes,

her limbs like sticks of foam.

I wish someone had said you’re not

to try this out at home.

I should have stuck to juggling balls

or spinning plates instead.

It’s not much fun when both your legs

are stuck behind your head!

Jenny Erlanger

 

First published as “Circus Act” in The School Magazine (May 2015)

 

The Happy Cricket by Monty Edwards

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The Happy Cricket

 

There was once a little cricket,

Who was happy as could be.

He was chirpy before breakfast.

He  was chirpy after tea.

He was chirpy when the sun rose

He was chirpy when it set.

When it comes to being chirpy,

No more chirpy could you get!

 

At one time when he was chirping

As the sun came up at dawn,

He was hopping through the flowers;

He was jumping on the lawn;

But, quite suddenly, a sprinkler

Shot him with a shower of spray

And he didn’t feel like chirping

Till the sprinkler went away.

 

Now this jolly little cricket

Really  loved to have a dance,

He would look around for partners

When he ever had the chance.

They would waltz around the kitchen;

They would jig right down the hall.

Where they really kicked their heels up

Was the weekly cricket ball!

 

Monty Edwards

Monty says: Lacking inspiration, I tried imagination and hit on a cricket ball!